Here’s a little update on WTF Guy from today, in the form of a play in one act.
[WTFG walks in to class 25 minutes late, ipod blaring so loud everyone can hear it, goes to a desk at the back of the computer lab, sits down, turns on computer and then sits for 15 minutes, rocking to his tunes. Meanwhile, the rest of the class carries on with their online grammar exercises. Eventually WTF guy wanders up to the front of the class.]
WTFG [ipod still on, but earphones not in]: So, like, what are we doing?
WL: We are working through the exercises on Sentence Structure on the Online Doohickey associated with your textbook. Oh, and here’s your paper back from last class. I asked you to describe an everyday object. This is a page about how you think people who like to solve Rubik’s Cubes are gay, so it doesn’t really meet the requirements for the assignment.
[WTFG goes and sits down. About 5 minutes pass. He comes back to the front of the class.]
WTFG: What if you don’t have the book?
WL: Me? I have it right here. [Points.]
WTFG: I don’t have my book with me.
WL: So, go get it?
WTFG: I mean I haven’t bought it yet.
[WL gives him a blank stare.]
WTFG: So I guess that means there isn’t anything I can do in class today, right? [Laughs, Beavis and Buttheadly.]
WL: Can I have a word with you outside?
[They go out into the hall.]
WL: Look, you don’t have to be here, you know.
[WTFG stares blankly.]
WL: I mean, you are giving me the strong impression that you don’t want to be here. I am not making you stay. You are an adult. If you don’t want to take this class, don’t. [Goes back inside. A few minutes later WTFG re-enters. Goes to his desk. Sits down. Gets back up again.]
WTFG: So, I guess I should go buy the book then?
WL: You’re a big boy, make up your own mind.
[WTFG leaves the room. Comes back 10 minutes later, notably without textbook. Goes to his desk. Sits down. Gets up. Leaves again. Comes back 10 minutes later, notably without textbook, but with ipod blaring loudly. Sits down. Stares at screen until just before the end of class.]