Tag Archives: jobs

Smackdown of Random Idiots.

So, I am feeling a bit financially challenged, in part because maybe one of my classes next semester may not have enough students in it to run – ugh – although it only needs to pick up 4 more warm bodies by Jan 5. So, fingers crossed, everyone. Economic downturn, blah, blah, blah. Isn’t it times like these when it is MORE important to understand the works of Chaucer? I am just saying.

But I digress.

The point is, depression about possibly straightened financial circumstances naturally leads me to plumb the depths of the internets – viz, “advertise your freelancing jobs and skills here” type sites. A lot of the jobs on offer look like slaving for pennies, even the legit jobs for actual companies with actual websites. And as for the “qualified” freelancers, they range from sad secretaries with minimal English skills to skeevy guys who probably get their girlfriends to do the work.¬† I am sure there are real people out there doing real work, but dude, srsly, the sliminess of the bottomfeeders is chilling.

Still, we are all about the lulz, here, right? So one ad catches my eye. It’s from someone who wants “an MLA style essay, 2000 words, must be able to deliver by 4pm today GMT.” Oh. I know what this is about. This dude is foregoing the lowbrow option of free-essays.com in favour of a high-end custom option.

Just for a laugh, I submit a bid for the job, as follows:

I can write your essay for you, if you give me the assignment sheet. I will do it for US$1000. That’s $100 for the essay, and $900 not to nark on you.

Despite the desperation in the original ad, and the urgent timeline, I hear nothing. Later, I check back. The job has been withdrawn. Reason? “Unreasonable bids”. Pwnt!

Of course the real joke here is that I would have narked anyway.

Back to the depressing review of the more legitimate-looking “work”.

Hey, if anyone has a line on an actual job, let me know.