Tag Archives: boredom

Sunday afternoon trolling Omegle.

For those of you who don’t know it, Omegle is this chat site where you can go to talk to a random stranger. The idea is that you just chat anonymously, and I think it started out as kind of a social experiment. Of course, in practice, the majority of chatters are horny young men hoping to find a girl with a webcam who will then go on MSN. Whether there are any such girls is unknown, but the HYM appear to live in hope.

If you enjoy making fun of strangers, or just being silly, you can troll it fairly amusingly by asking people their IQ, responding only with the titles of Beatles songs or book titles, telling teenagers to watch out for pedobear, or saying you are male and watching how quickly people hang up.

You: Are you there God? It’s me, Margaret.
Stranger: What are you wearing Margaret?

I played around for a while asking people to tell me something they never told anyone else.

Stranger: hi
You: Tell me something you never told anyone else.
Stranger: i had sex with a dog
Stranger: we did it doggy style
You: On the internet, no one knows you are a dog.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Basically the fun that is to be had is fairly limited unless you like messing with people (which I do), but occasionally you get a gem.

Stranger: I’M OUTTA MANA
You: Are you in the right place?
Stranger: WHAT?!
Stranger: OF COURSE I AM!
You: You know, are you standing on a mana source?
Stranger: I AM!?
You: Dude, it is so the Den of Sorceresses.
Stranger: *looks down*
Stranger: I’m not a dude 😡
You: Oh, well, then welcome.
You: I was worried I was going to have to demand an offering of blood.
Stranger: Well, actually
Stranger: That’s why I’m here.
Stranger: 😐
You: For blood?
Stranger: Yes.
You: Okay, Unicorn, Troll, or Human?
Stranger: What are you?
You: I am the one who has a supply of blood to sell you.
Stranger: I want yours.
You: Mine?
Stranger: Yes.
Stranger: Please? *gives puppy dog eyes*
You: I offer you unicorn blood, and you want mine?
Stranger: Yes.
Stranger: Yours is the one we need!
You: You need a snake-human hybrid?
Stranger: YES.
You: What’s in it for me? And don’t be all “riches beyond your wildest dreams”.
Stranger: Riches beyond your wil–
Stranger: Oh.
Stranger: Uhm…
Stranger: Well, you will give life to the ultimate being
You: I am tapping my foot, I mean, tail, here.
Stranger: and he will grant you whatever you want.
You: No, no, YOU have to give me something.
Stranger: Well, what can I POSSIBLY give you?
Stranger: Good sir.
You: SIR?
You: WHAT?
You: Now I am utterly offended.
Stranger: Madam?
Stranger: It’s hard to tell with your snake head…:|
You: It’s not my head that is the snake half.
You: Haven’t you ever seen a mermaid?
Stranger: Oh my!
Stranger: I have not, good serpent.
You: Well, you have the whole half and half thing a bit upside down.
You: So, back to what you are going to give me for a vial of my blood.
Stranger: A vial?!
Stranger: PAH!
Stranger: I need more than that.
You: Unlikely. One drop is enough for the most powerful of purposes.
Stranger: I don’t believe you.
Stranger: This is not information I was told
Stranger: I was told to take 2 pints.
You: Yes, but you are clearly ignorant, with your whole “I have never seen a mermaid” confession.
You: I bet this is your first heroic quest.
Stranger: IT IS NOT
Stranger: I AM LEVEL 80
Stranger: SPECIES: ELF
You: You probably still have a wooden sword and a green hood.
Stranger: Excuse me?
Stranger: I sword?
Stranger: A*
Stranger: A SWORD?!
You: You’re right. It is more like a dagger.
You: Or a kitchen knife.
Stranger: I don’t USE a melee weapon!
Stranger: I have a bow.
Stranger: DUH.
You: How do you propose to get these 2 pints of blood out of me, then?
Stranger: Kill you.
Stranger: Plain and simple.
You: What, by hitting me over the head with an arrow?
You: Okay, so you turn around and walk 20 paces away from me.
You: With your back turned.
You: Are you going to survive to turn around and shoot?
Stranger: I’m not stupid D:
Stranger: I’M ON TO YOU
Stranger: *eyes you*
You: You know, while we have been chatting, I have been entwining my serpentine tail around you.
You: Are you finding it a little hard to breathe?
Stranger: WHAT?!
You: I can just flick the tip of my tail, and now there is a leetle bit of poison in your blood.
You: Feeling sleepy?
Stranger: Wha…..-_-
You: I might just grab your heavy purse with my spare hand.
You: Thank you for your custom.