Category Archives: overheard

Fun with Freshers

It’s week one of semester and the campus is crawling with noobs. A lot of noobs apparently can’t spot a prof at 2 metres, and then they say and do stupid shit. Illustrative example:

Privileged White Girl #1: I am going to ask to change my stats class. I am having a problem understanding the prof.
Privileged White Girl #2: Is he that British guy?
PWG#1: No, he’s Asian and he talks really quietly.
Me: Be sure to tell your Academic Advisor that you want to change classes because you are a racist.

Then there was the guy on the bus this morning. I live pretty close to campus, so by the time I get on the bus it is often a bit crowded, and I have to sit next to random dudebros, or old ladies and stuff. This morning, there’s a dudebro in the window seat, and I sit next to him (aisle).

As the bus pulls into campus (which is a good 2 minutes from the STOP), he tries to get me to move so he can get up to get off the bus.¬†And I am like “DUDE, everyone is getting off. Hold your horses”. Well, dudebro is not going to take this from a FEMALE, so he just shoves at my legs until I move, which, I do, because OW.

Then everyone (as predicted) gets off the bus. Except maybe one old lady. I go to class, which is the first time this class meets. Guess who is there?

He left.

In other news, I invented a game, which it may please you to play on your respective campi. When you are walking in a busy traffic area (hallway, passageway, area between 2 buildings, you know the ones), spot the people walking with their heads down, texting, and see if you can get them to bump into you.

Scoring:

  • bumping into you (not you into them, that’s cheating) – 1 point
  • if they drop something – 1 point
  • if they drop their phone – 2 points
  • if they fall over – 5 points
  • blood – 15 points

Stuff dropped is non-stackable (ie phones dropped only get 2 points), but you get a point for each thing dropped.

If you don’t live in Canada, you can also get a bonus point if they apologize.

 

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One for that guy who said I never say anything nice about students.

Okay, so they weren’t actually MY students, and only one of them was awesome, but let me lay it on you, anecdotally.

Yesterday I was at the Starbux stand getting a coffee because I had only had one coffee that morning at home, and I had a bunch of marking to do, and my current level of caffeination was not going to cut it. I was bantering with the barrista, as is my wont. (I love this guy ever since he told me that if people are rude to him he gives them decaf.)

As I was stirring my coffee, there were two female students having a conversation about a test they had just had (or so I surmise). Student #1 was bitching about how the test was, like , unfairs because it was hard, and stuff. Student #2 nonchalantly said “I thought it was, like, totally easy if you studied.”

PWNT. I could not help myself, I gave her a high five.

Damned with faint praise.

So, I finish class, and deal with the questions at the end, and then I leave the classroom and a clump of students are following behind me, and they have this conversation:

Student 1: So, was that an hour?
Student 2: Hour and 15 minutes, I think.
Student 1: Huh. It didn’t seem that long.
Student 2: I know. Some of that discussion was actually kind of interesting.

I don’t know whether to feel flattered.

Overheard in the hallway.

A conversation between two guys, who looked like jocks. One of them had team shorts on.

Guy 1: So, you were travelling over summer? Where did you go?
Guy 2: I spent a month and a half in China.
Guy 1: Toronto?
Guy 2: No, Nanking, China.
Guy 1: I have no idea where that is.
Guy 2: It is near Vietnam.

I love how Guy 2 thought that “Vietnam” would help the guy who hadn’t heard of China.

Other delights from the beginning of semester include the revolving door of drop/add, which means I really haven’t figured out any personalities yet, and the usual fight with the bookstore.

Last week, I noticed 3 students, all male, who had brought Mom or Dad with them to the first day of class. I mentioned this to a colleague, who said he had seen a parent escort a student (also male) up to our corridor to meet with another faculty member. The question that crosses my mind is, what kind of event is this? Is this snowflakes who can’t get to uni without being driven by mom or dad, or helicopters who won’t let precious go to school by himself? I shall ponder, and see if I can collect further evidences.

In other news, I am going to YET ANOTHER meeting about 6pt tomorrow. Expect a post-game rant.