Fun with Freshers

It’s week one of semester and the campus is crawling with noobs. A lot of noobs apparently can’t spot a prof at 2 metres, and then they say and do stupid shit. Illustrative example:

Privileged White Girl #1: I am going to ask to change my stats class. I am having a problem understanding the prof.
Privileged White Girl #2: Is he that British guy?
PWG#1: No, he’s Asian and he talks really quietly.
Me: Be sure to tell your Academic Advisor that you want to change classes because you are a racist.

Then there was the guy on the bus this morning. I live pretty close to campus, so by the time I get on the bus it is often a bit crowded, and I have to sit next to random dudebros, or old ladies and stuff. This morning, there’s a dudebro in the window seat, and I sit next to him (aisle).

As the bus pulls into campus (which is a good 2 minutes from the STOP), he tries to get me to move so he can get up to get off the bus. And I am like “DUDE, everyone is getting off. Hold your horses”. Well, dudebro is not going to take this from a FEMALE, so he just shoves at my legs until I move, which, I do, because OW.

Then everyone (as predicted) gets off the bus. Except maybe one old lady. I go to class, which is the first time this class meets. Guess who is there?

He left.

In other news, I invented a game, which it may please you to play on your respective campi. When you are walking in a busy traffic area (hallway, passageway, area between 2 buildings, you know the ones), spot the people walking with their heads down, texting, and see if you can get them to bump into you.


  • bumping into you (not you into them, that’s cheating) – 1 point
  • if they drop something – 1 point
  • if they drop their phone – 2 points
  • if they fall over – 5 points
  • blood – 15 points

Stuff dropped is non-stackable (ie phones dropped only get 2 points), but you get a point for each thing dropped.

If you don’t live in Canada, you can also get a bonus point if they apologize.


6 thoughts on “Fun with Freshers

  1. fillyjonk

    I guess I lose the texting game, because I had someone run into me while they were texting and they made ME drop all the crap I was carrying. And no, they didn’t apologize.

    I also once had a woman cross the street (not at a crosswalk) right in front of my car and just EXPECTED I would stop for her while she walked and texted.

    1. Starryknit

      I had the same thing happen to me on Thursday night! Extra bad because it was dark. If it’d been a driver who was slightly sleepy, it would definitely have been 15 points.

  2. M-H

    I am getting quite anxious about walking on campus lately. Twice in one day this week while I was out and about cyclists zoomed through a bunch of people crossing on two different pedestrian crossings. Both were going downhill at speed, and were extremely skilful, but it would have only taken one of the group to stop (as people do when they’re texting etc) , and a little knot to form, and one of those bad boys (both young men – what a surprise) could have gone flying and knocked a few people over too. Grrr!

  3. V's Herbie

    Does lack of action count? I saw a girl about to run smack into a hallway file cabinet, and I only slowed down a bit so I could get a good view of the impending carnage. She did, I lol’d.

  4. There for a reason's Rachel

    I mysteriously found myself on the bus at the end of a standard campus day (where everyone makes sure their classes are all over by 5 pm so’s to go do more important things) and quickly remembered why I’m glad I no longer regularly catch the “big school” bus.

    In other news I was short on the bus fare and the driver let me trade a ride for a cupcake 🙂


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