Rude, but not spectacular. Yet.

This one doesn’t have a nickname yet (please feel free to make suggestions in the comments), but I feel the need to tag his behaviour pending developments.

I don’t know if I have moaned enough for it to have entered into your consciousness yet, dear reader, but this semester, I have a dreaded 8am class 2 days a week. It is a class I enjoy teaching, and it is one that I can teach with relatively little audience participation. The latter fact is important because at 8am, your average student, being nocturnal, is even less inclined to be responsive to requests for verbal feedback than at other times of the day.

I taught this same section last year, and as you may remember, it was enlivened by the flailing sleeper. This time around, judging by their written work, I have a nice small number of female students who actually can tell their asses from their elbows with regard to MLA. Promising. Also in the class is one guy. This guy is a clueless asshole.

He was missing from class for a couple days. On Tuesday, there was an assignment due, which the studious female students all handed in at the beginning of class. Then I started enthralling them with the tale of Chaucer’s private life, which I know about because I read his blog.

About 10 minutes in, this guy comes into the classroom, walks up to the front of the class, where I am lecturing animatedly, and STANDS THERE WITH HIS ASSIGNMENT. Like, RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. Dude. I am talking here. So I glare at him, and he holds his paper out, and either I have to take it, or he is going to fucking keep standing there. So I take it, and he walks to the back of the room and heads out the door.

At this point, I have to pause in my fascinating discussion of whether or not Chaucer was happily married, and, indeed whether or not that matters at all, to ask this jerk where he is going. And he says something about being ill (if you are ill, why did you take the trouble to come to class and give me your fucking germs, let me just get out the Purell, here), and I snap back “Well, thanks for interrupting class.” And he leaves.

So today I get an email from him – an email of several sentences, all jammed into one paragraph, with no capital letters and little punctuation – which explains, among other things, that his illness is some kind of skin condition (FANTASTIC), and that he didn’t get a doctor’s note, because it would cost $30. Is there in it one word of apology? There is not.

So, I am saying, just flagging this one, because I doubt this is going to be his only effort.

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15 thoughts on “Rude, but not spectacular. Yet.

      1. fillyjonk

        I get eczema. It’s miserable. But it doesn’t make me behave like a flake, and I can still get to class on time.

        I’m wondering if the “skin condition” of the student was actually some kind of below-the-belt rash, acquired during some sort of nocturnal activity.

  1. tiff

    Skinboy’s papers definitely need to be sanitized before you take them home. Perhaps this might be the time for a single exception to your refusal to take emailed papers? =P
    When the actual paper might give you herpes, it’s high-time to reconsider, I say.

    Reply
  2. zugenia

    Oy. I had a weekend-long exchange with a student who insisted his/her (never included a “Dear Prof / Best, MY NAME, so have no idea) TA was conspiring against him/her because all attempts at communication by email had failed, which ended only when I discovered and pointed out that said student was misspelling TA’s email address. But that? Does not hold a candle to this.

    Reply
  3. fillyjonk

    I had a student once come in to class late – like in the MIDDLE of class – and walk up to me as I was trying to get discussion going, and start TALKING to me about how he should be allowed to hand in an assignment late. I actually had to tell him, “It is the middle of class. I am not going to discuss this with you now. Sit down.” before he realized that what he was doing was not appropriate. And then he badgered me again after class.

    Um, you’ve failed classroom etiquette on at least three counts I can see. Why should I agree to your request, again?

    Reply
  4. whatladder Post author

    Okay, synthesizing the comments and suggestions is leading me to calling him Herp Boy.

    Also, cursory inspection reveals no obvious swellings or discolouration.

    Reply
  5. fillyjonk

    Now, see, in my department Herp Boy would be a compliment. (Herpetology, that is. Actually, one of my colleagues might be Herp Man. And I mean that in the best possible way.)

    Reply
  6. Coraline

    Leprosy boy! His body parts will dangle like his participles.

    Herpes Boy has a nice ring to it as well. Herp boy just makes me think of snakes. Not the trouser variety.

    Reply

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