Smackdown of Random Idiots.

So, I am feeling a bit financially challenged, in part because maybe one of my classes next semester may not have enough students in it to run – ugh – although it only needs to pick up 4 more warm bodies by Jan 5. So, fingers crossed, everyone. Economic downturn, blah, blah, blah. Isn’t it times like these when it is MORE important to understand the works of Chaucer? I am just saying.

But I digress.

The point is, depression about possibly straightened financial circumstances naturally leads me to plumb the depths of the internets – viz, “advertise your freelancing jobs and skills here” type sites. A lot of the jobs on offer look like slaving for pennies, even the legit jobs for actual companies with actual websites. And as for the “qualified” freelancers, they range from sad secretaries with minimal English skills to skeevy guys who probably get their girlfriends to do the work.  I am sure there are real people out there doing real work, but dude, srsly, the sliminess of the bottomfeeders is chilling.

Still, we are all about the lulz, here, right? So one ad catches my eye. It’s from someone who wants “an MLA style essay, 2000 words, must be able to deliver by 4pm today GMT.” Oh. I know what this is about. This dude is foregoing the lowbrow option of in favour of a high-end custom option.

Just for a laugh, I submit a bid for the job, as follows:

I can write your essay for you, if you give me the assignment sheet. I will do it for US$1000. That’s $100 for the essay, and $900 not to nark on you.

Despite the desperation in the original ad, and the urgent timeline, I hear nothing. Later, I check back. The job has been withdrawn. Reason? “Unreasonable bids”. Pwnt!

Of course the real joke here is that I would have narked anyway.

Back to the depressing review of the more legitimate-looking “work”.

Hey, if anyone has a line on an actual job, let me know.

3 thoughts on “Smackdown of Random Idiots.

  1. witch

    I’ve been living under the threat of possibly no job for about a month now. The Mad Director, one up the food chain from my immediate boss, is out to get her. So there is a “consultation” on how best to deliver student services. He presented a paper that wasn’t even referenced, the dick. In fact, I was hoping some of the Uppities might critique my response when I’ve written it.

    The scary part was having the union reps and HR at the meeting during which we were told this. They are holding the “consultation” while all the tutors and students who use our services are on leave and don’t even know it’s happening, despite the rather obscure email that went out to staff about it.

    They are talking about one advisor per school. (Four schools). That would leave about four of us without jobs.

    We don’t get it, there are many specialities in our team, biology, computing (me), physiology, business, economics, maths and so on. If we parcel out one person per school, what happens if other schools need that speciality? What happens if one school needs more than one speciality?

    So it is very worrying, I have no other income and I’m wondering what I will do if I lose my job.

    I totally get where you’re coming from. We’ve lost quite a few tutors in the last several years from the schools. It was decided 17 students was the break-even point financially, if we get under that, bang goes another tutor.

    The Mad Director has already got all the Maori women jobs, attached to schools as foundation learner tutors. Lots of government funding for foundation learning. (‘Cos the bloody kids can’t read or write or count properly by the time they hit tertiary education).

    It makes life very uncertain and worrying. I will be crossing my fingers and toes for you that at least four more students sign up for your course. Know anyone who might be talked into it?

  2. sparerib

    I would do your course, if I had the money to fly to Canada to do it. I have a bookclub going with my friends, and Chaucer is meant to be sometime during the next three months.

    Pressure about quantities of students required to run a class sucks; I had a tutor who didn’t want to be offensive to anyone because if one person in the class dropped out, her class would be dropped. As a result, everyone in the class abused her.

    I laughed when you said you would have narked anyway. I am surprised he didn’t accept, the dumb, rich, lazy moron.


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