Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?

You knew there was going to be an update, and you were right.

So, yesterday, while I am busy and important and on the phone, Pineapple Boy wanders in to my office, without knocking, grabs my stapler, without asking, staples his new “story” and tosses it on to my desk. I hang up the phone, rather abruptly, in order to speak to him before he leaves.

“Some people,” I comment, “would consider your behaviour towards me disrespectful, bordering on rude.” Of course, he has no idea what I can possibly mean. So, I point out that grabbing a person’s stapler without asking is kind of rude, and that sending emails about how I “won’t care why he left class,” has a bit of an attitude about it.

Then I say, “and you sprayed food all over me, and did not apologise”. “Oh,” he says, “that was pineapple.” I know it was pineapple! The fact that it was pineapple has not escaped me. Or anyone I have told about it, which is pretty much everyone. But he’s saying “that was pineapple” as if “pineapple” is some kind of exception category. You know, splattering someone with, like orange, is rude, but if it is pinapple, well.

We go back and forth a bit, with him saying he doesn’t hate the class, even though he is “being forced to take it,” he still “wants to learn”. Because, you know, people can force you to take classes to meet requirements for your degree, but they totally can’t force you to learn stuff in those classes. He’s all earnest and shit, and takes his leave after many protestations about wanting to do his best. “See you soon,” I say, making reference to the fact that his class is meeting in a little while.

An hour later, his class has an in-class assignment to complete, in the lab. It’s worth marks. He doesn’t show. It’s not like I am surprised, but now I am all in suspense, waiting to hear WHY he didn’t show. Is he offended that I took exception to the pineapple incident? Did he just forget? Did he take an extra-long lunch.

Amuse yourselves by guessing. I’ll let you know.

3 thoughts on “Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?

  1. Bobbie

    I think that, because he had to interrupt you, he missed a mini meal and so fell into a hyoglycemic funk and, “like, totally spaced on the class, dude-lady! My bad.”

  2. fillyjonk

    Maybe he pulled a double shift at the Krusty Krab?

    I have to say, your stories make me feel very lucky. At least my students ASK me if they may use my stapler before stapling their papers together.

  3. Sile

    LOL Forced to take the class. Ugh. Doesn’t he realize that in order to PASS said class, you SHOULD learn something while there? Honestly, what is his major? Besides eating, of course. He seems to have that down pat.


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