Monthly Archives: April 2008

Perils of the Imaginative Life

We are not morning people in our house; we never have been. However, this semester, I had all early classes, and of course StepLadder had to be taken to school, so that meant everyone had to be up and out the door, and mostly it was Feckless doing the dropping off and me doing the picking up. Yesterday morning was no exception, we were all a little slow getting out the door, and StepLadder still had a piece of jam toast in her hand as we started off down the street. We said goodbye as I headed to the bus and they headed to school.

Feckless said “I am not awake yet,” as normally they chat on the way to school, to which SL replied, “That’s okay,” and they walked in companionable silence. The school is on a busy street, so we walk her across the road, but usually hug goodbye at the gate to the school field, and she runs to play for those precious 5 or 10 minutes before the bell rings. That part of the day went as usual.

Feckless waited for the lights, crossed the street, and then turned to see if SL wanted to wave goodbye. To his surprise, she was still standing just inside the gate. He watched for a few moments, and she didn’t seem to be moving. He wondered if there was something wrong. She’d seemed happy enough to go to school, but then, they hadn’t talked much on the way.

So he waited for the lights again to cross back to the school, all the time watching as SL stood, head down. By the time he got back across the street and walked up to her, she had moved all of a couple more metres.

“What’s wrong?” he asked. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” was the reply. “I’m being a turtle.”

“Well,” he said, “It’s nearly time for the bell, and you need to wash the jam off your face. Could you maybe be a leopard and run really fast and go wash up?”

“I can be a cheetah.”


By the time he got across the road again, she had run all the way across the fields, the playground and the courtyard, and was going in the door.

This morning, I took her to school, and as I hugged her goodbye, asked what animal she was going to be today.

“A wolf,” was the response. Well, they are fairly quick, even if they go on all fours, so that was fine.

Yesterday Morning: the Good News and the Bad News

Good News: My Children’s Lit Class is meeting at the Children’s Bookstore for our field trip, which is usually lots of fun.

Bad News: I still have to get up at sparrowfart to go teach Milton to the early class. Milton!

Good News: Students are far more into Paradise Lost than I am, so my instruction to “talk about it amongst yourselves and figure out a list of questions you want me to answer” cop-out actually produces some interesting discussion.

Bad News: Despite my repeatedly leaving a pile of essays invitingly for them on my desk, the Marking Fairies have not made an appearance.

Good News: I get to go home and be fortified by coffee before I walk around the corner to the Children’s Bookstore.

Bad News: When I use my break time productively to check how my character is going in Forumwarz, I find I have been the target of repeated assholings by those jerks, The Knights of LOL.

Good News: More exciting sock yarn arrives in the mail.

Bad News: I am the kind of dork who gets excited by sock yarn.

Good News: Most of my class have turned up at the bookstore and they are having an excellent time browsing, reading and discussing the things they see. Woot! Education is taking place before my eyes.

More Good News: When I go to purchase Scaredy Squirrel at the Beach, the nice bookstore owner tells me I have $10 in frequent flyer credit.

Bad News: Students are clearly skeptical about my excuses for not having their essays to hand back. Damn you, Marking Fairies!

Good News: Disgruntled Students are distracted by the arrival of Feckless at the store. Students always like to get a glimpse of your personal life.

Not Bad at all News: Weird Korean Sub and Bubble tea place down the road has been replaced by Vietnamese Cafe.

Good News: It’s busy-ish, but there is a table free.

Bad News: It becomes apparent that the table is free because it is next two Ladies (not women; women do not have the kind of conversation these ladies are having) of a certain age, who are lunching and talking about their inane lives in appalling detail, VERY LOUDLY. Srsly, it is sad that your mutual friend has cancer, and isn’t it good that she seems to be recovering, and how nice that her nice children were so nice to visit her, but we really don’t want to hear about it. Other things we also don’t want to hear about: your dog’s manicure, or whatever the hell it was, and who came to visit at Easter, and what you made for dinner.

Good News: The spring rolls are delicious.

Bad News: The Loud Ladies’ conversation has taken a turn for the gynecological. Your friend Holly, do you really think she would be happy to know that you told an entire restaurant how many times she “tried” before she got pregnant?

Good News: Both Feckless and I have iPods. So we put them on.

Bad News: Now, of course, we cannot converse about how yummy the food is, and did I notice if there was any more chili sauce.

Good News: Also armed with cellphones, we can text each other. So we do. Feckless texts, “This is SO much better.” I reply, “I am going to pwn them on my blog.”

Bad News: When we finish eating, and disconnect the tech, the Ladies are still at it.

Good News: The current topic of conversation – the son of one of them, who is a Special Snowflake currently studying at a post-secondary institution and cannot make up his mind what he wants to study – offers the opportunity for some lulz. Snowflake Son apparently has dropped a lot of classes, including, most recently, Sociology, because he is “trying to find his path.” “Oh well,” consoles the other lady, “he is a deep thinker.” This last observation prompts me to reply, “That clearly isn’t genetic.”

Bad News: I didn’t say it out loud. I know you were hoping one of them was going to hit me with her handbag.

Good News: Food was excellent value for money. Also, the Ladies provide us with an excellent topic for snarky conversation on the way home, all the way to the Badly Built House, which, despite a booming housing market in this city, remains unsold after several months. Tip for property developers: giant cracks in the stonework tend to deter potential buyers.

In other news: Sarcastic Bastard got an essay with a little photochopped picture of a rubber duck with a stapler in the upper right hand corner.